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John Jordan

Omro, WI (Wisconsin really… I’m sure you were thinking Omro - British Virgin Islands)

November 5th … Scorpio … What’s your sign?

Why I got into radio:

Women, Fame, Fortune …. Oh …wait !!! To live a nomadic lifestyle, living check to check, bartering CD’s, T-shirts and Xmas Bash Tickets for Food. Ahhhh … now that’s Rock n’ Roll. Or at least the end of a very bad “Behind the Music”episode.

Other jobs I’ve had:

Video Store Clerk, Dark Minion, Morning Radio DJ, Patsy, Comedic Foil, Comedy Club Manager, Oil Boy for Hawiian Tropic Bikini Team and Shepherd.


Aantidisestablishmentarianism, Conspiracy String Theory – wondering if Steven Hawking shot Kennedy from a UFO dressed as Bigfoot while altering the Zapruder film in the same studio they shot the FAKE Apollo 13 moon landing to cover his tread marks. And collecting junk food that looks like famous people. I have a pork rind that looks just like John Lennon and a Cheeto that resembles Jesus. Coincidence?


Horror Movies, Compulsive Disorders, Arranging anything I buy in a grocery store by Food Group, Creating playlists on my iPod (ex: “Songs to Play at My Funeral” and to “Shave By”), “List Shows” (ex) VH1’s “Top 100 Least Metal Moments” or Animal Planet’s “Top 50 Animal Attacks on News Anchors” (speaking of) Watching Fox 11 News to see how long it takes the female anchor to begin looking like Tom Milbourn.

Strange phobias:

Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis the fear of inhaling a very fine dust (which is ALL OVER… by the way) into your lungs causing an almost incurable respiratory disease. Oh! And men who wear fur coats. *shiver*

Favorite Movies
I have a DVD collection numbering in the 700’s … Kinda’ hard to narrow it down. How ‘bout Comfort Films... Halloween(‘78), Star Wars(‘77), Clerks, The Big Lebowski, Fight Club, Pulp Fiction, American Psycho, anything Hitchcock…. Again 700 + DVDs … This could go on and on and ……

Favorite TV Shows:

Seinfeld, LOST, South Park, X-Files, Scrubs, Family Guy, Warner Brothers Cartoons, Arrested Development and anything good that’s been cancelled before it’s time.

Best concerts I’ve seen:

The Eagles (Resch Center ’08), Pearl Jam( Summerfest), Foo Fighters + Chili Peppers (Summerfest), Pink Floyd (Madison 1988), Dave Matthews Band Staples Center L.A., U2 (Vertigo) United Center - Chicago, Rolling Stones(Camp Randal), Monsters of Rock -VH, Scorps., Metallica – (Alpine Valley ’88), Metallica (Resch Center), AC/DC (Bradley Center)

Concert I would’ve loved to have seen:

The Doors in some shitty roadside bar.

Death Row Meal:

Ice Cold BOTTLE of COKE, my late Uncle Bob’s Pizza- Large Cheese & Sausage, Large bag of popcorn –smothered in Butter and Salt from the Downer Theater in Milwaukee and for dessert… “Belts” Soft Serve Ice Cream from Stevens Point.

People say that I look like:

anyone with curly hair .. from Christopher Adkins (Blue Lagoon) and Willy Aimes to Robert Plant, Sammy Hagar and Matthew McConaughey, …. Y’know… I never get the George Clooney or Brad Pitt it’s always the “wacky” guy like Screech. WTF!!!!

Cartoon Character I’d most like to have sex with:

Betty AND Veronica – That’s how we get down in my house baby!

Favorite monkey:

Whatever McNeal said for this … he’s the real expert.

Random radio memory:

Bob Barron’s “Bong Orientation Story” and “The Paul Harvey Curse Introduction”. Calgaro running over a co-worker in the Appleton Holiday Parade. “Joy to the..Argggh! Sweet baby Jesus!! I Can’t Feel My Legs!

If I could have any superpower:

The power to make stupid people instantly sterile especially while driving or at the grocery store.


“Buy the Ticket… Take the Ride” – Hunter S. Thompson

What I’m listening to:

“This American Life” episodes on my iPod.

What I’m watching:

YOU. Right now...

What I’m reading:

“Traffic” – The study of how, why, what we drive.
“Tipping Point” , “Your Brain on Music” and Comic Books.

Where I’d rather be right now:

Warm … Island … Buzzed … Happy

If I could have Theme Music walking down the street it would be:

The Theme from SHAFT by the late Issac Hayes. R.I.P.

If I could have dinner with any 3 people (living or dead) :

Jim Morrison, Hunter S. Thompson and Johnny Depp … the Weird Go Pro.
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